¿Con qué limpiará el joven su camino?

Una vez un hombre llamado David escribió “¡Ojalá fuesen ordenados mis caminos, para guardar tus estatutos! (Salmo 119:5.)

Muchas veces creemos que debemos estar bien para buscarle o entregar nuestra vida completamente al Él, por temor a ser rechazados o avergonzados, por el estado de nuestra vida. Luchamos todos los días, por arreglar algo de nuestro interior, y lo que logramos es coleccionar fracasos día tras día; pero cada vez con menos fuerza, por que ya no la tenemos…

¿Cuando traes a un zapatero un zapato, cuando está sin estrenar o cuando está roto, sin tapas, y deforme?. ¿Que harías tu si fueras un zapatero y te traen un zapato nuevo?, no tendrías que hacer nada, no tendrías trabajo. Pero si te traen un zapato que da lastima, tendrías trabajo, y sería un honor ver ese zapato tomando forma nuevamente. No te importaría lo roto, mal oliente, ni usado que esté, solamente que necesita ser reparado.

Así es con el Señor, a Él no le importa tu condición, Él ve el trabajo que tiene que hacer en tí. No importa el estado en que te encuentres, HOY hay oportunidad para ti, solo trae ante su Presencia tu Corazón, y permite que Él lo repare como debe ser; no como tu quieres y en la forma que tu decides; sino como Él ya lo determinó. ¿Cómo hacer esto? A SOLAS CON ÉL, búscale aunque no tengas nada que decir, escoge tu el momento y se sincero con Él.

“¿Con qué limpiará el joven su camino? CON GUARDAR SU PALABRA” Salmo:119:9

Hey, its been a while...

I remember having time to do all this things but now I really don't know where time goes anymore. I remember enjoying writing about me and the ones around me. I guess today is one of those days when you feel like talking and there is no one around to listen. Everybody seems too busy or not in the mood to listen. I don't blame you... I've had that attitude too. So I was wondering how many people around me has felt the need to talk and I didn't listen. I'm sorry. I guess that's why I'm writing again at this moment, because I have the need to be listened to.

Today is one of those days that nothing seems to go right for me and at the end of the day I'm so exhausted thinking and feeling I keep messing up. Today is one of those days I feel everything is my fault, and even take the blame for the things that are not, just because I feel guilty... and feeling guilty is not a good feeling. It's weird, I just woke up feeling like this and there wasn't really a reason to feel this way but I did. Today one or two subjects came up to the table and Edgar and I didn't agree at all, other days I wouldn't worry about it, maybe tomorrow he would understand I'm always right lol, but not today. It wasn't really a big deal, I mean we can talk about it tomorrow and we would agree on something. My son has grown so much and has his own personality and ways on doing things, but sometimes he behaves like.... I don't even want to get into it. Edgar and I were raised so differently...and I'm not saying I was raised better than him but I guess that whatever you saw growing up is normal and good for you. Sometimes we really don't agree and he shows Jr one way and I'll show him another, at the end of the day my kiddo ends up so confused he doesn't know how to behave. It's so frustrating when I see my kid doing things I don't agree to, and to my husband is so normal and ok. It makes me feel guilty, It makes me wonder if I'm doing a good job being a mom. Geez, being a mom its the biggest responsibility ever. I want my kid to be the best he can be and sometimes I seem to forget that I'm not raising him by myself its Edgar's responsibility too and he wants him to be the best he could be too is just that we don't always agree. After a while it gets to me. How can I know if I'm doing a good job being a mom? Do I have to wait 20 years to see if I did a good job or a bad one. Its my responsibility to be a good mom. Its Edgar's responsibility to be a good dad, but how can we know I f we both think we're right? Sometimes I give in, other times Edgar does. But how can I be sure???

Anyway, I guess May, and all this "Mother's Day" thing got to me... Seeing all my friend talking about their moms and why they are so good mothers. Others blaming their moms for so many things. I want my kiddo to at least think of me as not the best but a 'good' mom, I want him to be proud of me and I'm so scared he would blame me for something bad in his life because he is my everything, my little boy, a piece of me and I wouldn't do ANYTHING to make him unhappy or not proud but would he agree with me in 20 years from now? Would he think I'm good? or bad? I don't have the answer I'm dying to have and I guess I will have to wait all those years to find out and I'm so scared because I don't have the right answers all the time and I don't know how to deal with things at time. I don't want to feel guilty in 20 years from now, so God helps me. Oh please do!

At the end of the day after some tears, after some hugs and comforting words from my husband and my son's 'I Love You's' I know I don't know it all and as a scared as I am I will do my best to do the right things and hoping of some day hearing my boy say I did a good job. As frustrating as it is there is nothing else I can do. So I pray God to give me wisdom, strength and faith to do my best. No one but Him can really help me. So I'm at peace knowing we are in His hands and part of His perfect plan... so my <3 rests in Him.